Tim McCarver and "Scooter the Talking Baseball" to Switch Roles

In a shocking demotion for a veteran baseball analyst, Fox announced today that after another dismal performance during the Red Sox-Yankees broadcast this past weekend, Tim McCarver and "Scooter the Talking Baseball" will switch roles.  Scooter is a computer-generated cartoon-like device (a complaint often directed at McCarver) designed to explain baseball terminology to children.  McCarver is best known for endlessly rambling on with painfully obvious observations about the game, as well as his poorly hidden affection for the New York Yankees.
           “This weekend was just the final straw,” said a Fox executive. “Even before this, in a recent set of polls we discovered that Tim was annoying the hell out of virtually 100 percent of our audience.  That’s astounding.  Scooter, on the other hand, only annoyed about 60 percent—and he appeals to kids.  Even more astounding is that a vast majority of our audience felt Scooter provides more insightful commentary, knows the names of the players, and doesn’t give the impression that he was in love with his own voice.  That made the decision a no-brainer.”
           McCarver, who will now be reduced to having a computer-generated cartoon image of himself pop up on the screen to explain simple concepts to children, was incensed with the decision.  “I know the deal,” he said bitterly.  “Scooter is a young, good-looking guy, big with kids and the women think he’s cute.  But it takes a lot more than that to be Tim McCarver.” 
           Scooter, on the hand, was excited with his new role alongside Joe Buck.  “It’ll be so much fun!” he said, in his trademark high-pitched voice. “And I’ll be doing basically the same thing, explaining simple baseball concepts—only now to grownups!”  Then, taking a shot at his predecessor, he added, “I hope people won’t be turning down the sound when I’m the analyst.”

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