After three stellar seasons on the mound for the Red Sox, Jon Lester tailed off a bit last year, especially in the chicken-and-beer infused last months of the season. This year, Lester has for the most part been awful, causing alarm among fans who had hoped he would evolve into an elite pitcher. Instead, he seems to be going in the opposite direction. Yesterday, Lester made a plea to the fans.
"I am asking the great fans of Boston to be patient with me as I make the transition to becoming a bad pitcher," he said solemnly. "You guys were so great with me when I went from being a shaky rookie pitcher to a top-of-the-rotation pitcher. Now, I hope we can together share my next journey, as I become an increasingly bad pitcher. It may take time; there may be the occasional good performance, but with your help, I will arrive at sub-mediocrity."
Lester said teammate Dice-K Matsuzaka has been extremely helpful to him. "Dice was never what you'd call really good," Lester noted. "But I'm so impressed with the graceful way in which he has become so bad. Those 40 pitch innings just warm my heart."
Lester also thanks Josh Beckett for introducing him to poor work habits and continually sniping at umpires. "Now, Josh and I are teaming up to help Clay Buchholz with ruining his career. Then we'll go to work on Felix. We're all like brothers, man!"