After another epic choke in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference finals, Lebron James was in a state of panic as he arrived in Boston to face a hostile crowd at the TD Bank Garden. "Those Boston fans are so mean to me," James whimpered. "I mean, everyone's mean to me cause I'm a collossal ego maniac who begs to be worshipped even though I never won nothing and whiz my pants in the clutch...but these guys are really mean."
In an attempt to create a more choke-friendly environment for he and his teammates, James has taken advantage of the mass surplus of available Red Sox tickets at sold-out Fenway Park, and has purchased thousands of seats and offered them to free of charge to Celtics fans in an attempt to keep attendance--and noise--down for the game at TD Garden.
"I was kind of hoping Lebron would try to silence the crowd by...I don't know...playing great in a big game?" said coach Eric Spoelstra. Standing nearby, the Heat players laughed uproariously at Spoelstra's remark.
"Yeah," James said between giggles. "Like that's going to happen!"