The story sent shockwaves throughout the NFL. Reports revealed that the New Orleans Saints had for years had a program on its team whereby players could earn extra "bounty" money by intentionally injuring opposing players. The story had the league reeling, and yesterday heavy sanctions were handed out. But Call of the Green Monster has learned today that the New York Yankees have for years engaged in their own bounty program, albeit with a bizarre twist.
"Our program was a little different," said Hank Steinbrenner, who agreed to speak as a paid anonymous source. "The goal in our program was to see who could cause the greatest injury to ARod. Pitchers would drill him in batting practice, infielders would fire the ball at his ankles, guys would take practice swings and whack him in the head. Not pleasant stuff, mind you, but a million laughs. Hell, I once got $10,000 for pushing him down a flight of stairs."
Former Yankees leftfielder Johnny Damon looks back on the program as the highlight of his Yankee experience. "Um, it was like, so cool, dude," he said. "I mean, I can't throw the ball hard enough to hurt a mosquito, but I offered $5000 to the fan who could cause the most damage with a battery. I had so many laughs watching him dance around between pitches as those batteries came flying out of the stands!"
When pressed on why the Yankees would engage in the process of trying to maim their own superstar, potentially hurting the team, Steinbrenner shrugged. "It was a bonding experience for the rest of team," he explained. "The guy just annoys the hell out of everyone. We found solidarity in his pain, and had a hell of a lotta fun in the process."
Recent Comments