For the first time with this ownership, fans saw the Red Sox in penny pinching mode, as evidenced by their trade of Marco Scutaro and his $6 million salary this winter in order to free up money. But the latest Red Sox revenue-increasing move will likely bring a great financial windfall, as Call of the Green Monster has learned that the Sox sold senior citizens rides to Florida on their equipment truck.
"It's a money raiser, to be sure, but it's also a humanitarian gesture," said Larry Lucchino. "Some of these older folks are on very tight budgets, but for a mere $500 dollar fee, we pack them in with the rest of the equipment and ship them down to Florida. We also throw in a coupon for 50 cents off a $5 coke at a Spring Training game!""
While Lucchino seems giddy with delight, human rights activists are less amused. "Yes, this sounds like a good idea," said Leo Bright of the American Human Rights Coalition. "Packing dozens of senior citizens into the back of a truck, with no lighting and no bathroom breaks. And no water either."
"But that's the whole point," Lucchino countered when presented with the allegations. "We don't give them any water so they won't need a bathroom break. And, heck, they get down there in less than a day. We do have schedules to keep you know. The ride's a little bumpy, and sometimes loose baseballs and bats start flying around, but we have them all wearing helmets. And what an adventure to tell their grandchildren about!"
