The news hit the clubhouse hard. Red Sox players seemed genuinely concerned when Terry Francona told them the dire news the according to Harold Camping, minister and founder of the Family Radio Worldwide, May 21st is Judgement Day, with the world coming to an end.
"I couldn't believe it, but it's true," said Jonathan Papelbon. "It's a drag too, man, 'cause I never got around to doing my laundry this week."
"My wife's birthday is Sunday," said an inconsolable Dustin Pedroia. "It sucks when the world ends the day before your birthday. No fair, man."
But a resolute Terry Francona insists that the team will play baseball until there's no more Fenway Park to play on. "Since we don't know exactly the time of day the world is going to end, we gotta be prepared to play," he said. "There's no way I'm going to face the end of the world while I'm losing a baseball game."
And so, he retired to his office to make out a lineup card. "Gonzo, Pedey, Lowrie, and Youk are set," he explained. "End of the world isn't going to break their concentration. Tek over Salty, 'cause Salty seems a little bit spooked by this. J.D. already asked out with a hammy, but we know he's just scared to death. So the best apocalypse outfield we have is Craw, Ellsbury, and Darnell McDonald. I been meaning to get Darnell into a game, so it's best to do that before the world ends."
