An embarrassed Terry Francona met with reporters yesterday after the Sox humiliating 11-0 loss to the Angels. When asked how the Sox continue to struggle in their modest goal of reaching .500, Francona said the team just needed more timely hitting and better pitching. When pressed, he broke down.
"It's the royal wedding, guys," he said, fighting emotions. "Since the beginning of the season, it's just had a spell on this team a litle bit. The anticipation, the glamour, the pageantry...and lemme tell ya, the princess, or whatever the hell they call her, she's a pretty hot babe, guys. Who can read scouting reports when you got that on your mind."
Kevin Youkilis admitted that it has definitely affected this concentration. "For weeks before I was planning to watch it," he said. "We planned it like you wouldn't believe. Pedey brought the cookies, Tek brought the teabags...and Beckett brought the tissues, because we all knew we'd be crying our eyes out. Oh, it was so special."
Theo Epstein said he was aware of the problem. "And it didn't stop after the wedding," he noted. "These guys spending half the day searching the web looking at pictures. They check out all tabloid sites, looking for honeymoon details. It's absurd! And Tito's the worst!"
John Henry, however, defended the team. "Oh, there are some things more important in life than baseball, you know," he stated. "There's a baseball game almost every day...but how often do you get a royal wedding?"
