It's always kind of an odd spectacle watching John Lackey pitch. In a typical Red Sox performance, Lackey gets pounded and yet more often than not comes away with a cheap win when his teammates bail him out. And yet with each pitch that get crushed by an opponent, Lackey jumps up and down, gives pained expressions, and occasionally kicks and punches the grass in a full-blown sob, apparently blaming the fielders for his gopher ball.
But a subdued Lackey called a press conference yesterday to announce that he will end his on-field temper tantrums, and will make every effort to stop trying to embarrass his teammates. "I read this book called "How to Stop Whining, Crying, and Acting Like a Three-Year Old," and, wow, it just changed my life," Lackey said. "I never realized that when I throw one of my meatballs, it might actually be my fault. And even if it's not, it might not be the best idea to show up a teammate who might save your ass with a hit later on. It's like a new world to me."
An unconvinced Dustin Pedroia said that Lackey's anger issues extend to the locker room. "The other day he comes out of the shower, water dripping all over the place because the concept of a towel apparently eludes him, and when he slips and falls, he blames Crawford," he explained. "You think Crawford doesn't have enough going wrong for him?"
"I've seen it too, a little bit," said Terry Francona. "He brought in donuts for everyone the other day, and they were stale as hell. Somehow, someway, it ended up being Jacoby's fault, and he starts chasing him all over the locker room. Go figure."
Lackey concedes that there is a problem, but knows he will fix it. "Count to ten, take deep breaths, cover my mouth if I have to..." he said. "Relax more."
"How bout just throwing some decent pitches?" asked an incredulous Pedroia.
