The Red Sox recently shocked the baseball world by signing Tampa star Carl Crawford to a nearly unprecedented contract in club history. Many assumed the savvy negotiating of GM Theo Epstein was behind the landmark deal, while others speculated it may have been the steady stream of gorgeous women Larry Lucchino sent his way. But at a recent press conference announcing his arrival in Boston, Crawford was very clear about what turned the tide in the negotiations.
"The Red Sox have this option that you can have your paycheck directly deposited in your bank account," Crawford explained. "It's just so convenient, man. In Tampa, I used to have to walk to the bank every month with a check worth millions! It was dangerous, man, I can't expose myself to that kind of danger. Now, the money gets deposited and it's there when we need it."
When apprised of the comments, Angels GM Tony Reagins, who is being excoriated in Anaheim for not landing Crawford, expressed some distress. "Is this guy a nitwit or what?" Reagins railed. "Everybody's got direct deposit. Leave it to that little twerp Epstein to con this guy and cost me my job!"