It was, by all accounts, a spectacle that all will remember. The Winter Classic at Fenway Park enthralled fans from all over the region, and made millions for the Boston Red Sox. And apparently, they are not done yet. Yesterday, at a press conference announcing a promotion called "We Will Ice You!" the Red Sox announced plans to sell commemorative ice cubes from the Winter Classic rink.
John Henry, dressed in a full ice cube costume, stepped up to the podium. "Hockey fans, prepare to be iced!" an elated Henry said. "After watching the Bruins score that wonderful extra innings win Driers, we wanted fans to have something they could always treasure."
After whispering to Henry to step down from the podium before he embarrassed himself any more, Larry Lucchino nudged him out of the way, and addressed the crowd, holding up an ice cube. "Folks, I present to you an authentic and official sample of Fenway Ice," Lucchino announced. "For the price of just $100, you can purchase a raffle ticket to be one of the lucky few who will have a chance to buy this limited edition treasure."
"Won't it melt?" asked a reporter.
"Ha!" Lucchino said. "Of course it will melt, it's ice you nitwit. But all you have to do is freeze it again, and there's your Fenway Ice."
"So, let me get this straight," another reporter asked. "You're selling people raffles tickets, but that $100 doesn't get them the ice sample, it just gets them a chance to buy it."
"Correct!" Lucchino said proudly. "If they are lucky enough to purchase the cube, the price is $1,000. There are only a few left. You also get a coupon for 5% off the purchase of a Fenway Frank."
"So you are paying $1,100 dollars for a little pool of water, is that it?"
"You forgot the coupon that is included," Lucchino reminded. Then he looked out over the stunned crowd. "Ah, it's great to know the wonderful people of Red Sox Nation...and to have such easy access to their money."
bill@callofthegreenmonster.com
