In his three years in Boston, fans have never really seemed to be able to figure him out. J.D. Drew is quiet, unassuming, and seemingly completely devoid of any human emotion. His expression never changes, as no one seems to be able to crack through the wall with which he surrounds himself. But all that changed on Sunday, when, according to two teammates who witnessed the event, Drew for the first time ever displayed a genuine human emotion.
"Evidently, Terry Francona was coming out of the shower and Big Papi was walking in," a COTGM source revealed. "Francona, naked as a jaybird, slips, goes flying up in the air, and bounces on his butt. In the process, his glasses go flying and his legs trip Big Papi. Big Papi, stark naked himself, goes flying up in the air and lands right on top of Tito's glasses. The crunch was unbelievable."
Tim Wakefield confirmed COTGM's version of the incident, and also claims to be the first person ever to witness Drew displaying a human emotion in his reaction to the incident. "His lip twitched just a little bit, but I think it was enough to be considered a smile," Wakefield reported. Mike Lowell backed Wakefield's story. "It was just the slightest of smiles, but really the first indication since I've known the guy that he's not an android. I really wasn't sure until then."
Terry Francona also claimed he saw Drew smile, but that is being viewed with some skepticism since his glasses were crushed by Big Papi. "With the broken lens from his glasses lodged in my ass, he didn't see nothing, bro," a disgusted Big Papi said. "But I don't believe J.D. smiled. When we won the World Series he just calmly walked off the field like we played a Spring Training game. I still think that dude ain't human, man. Unless you can program an android to smile. Can you?"
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