Much of Red Sox Nation was stung yesterday when news broke that pitcher Dice-K Matsuzaka publicly criticized the Red Sox training methods for pitchers. The pitcher intimated that the Sox were ruining his career by not letting him use his own workout regime. Terry Francona in a rare critique of his own player, expressed his extreme disappointment with the comments.
This morning, President Obama announced that he wanted to cool things down between management and the player. “I’ve invited Terry and Dice-K down to the White House for a beer,” the president announced. “I’m sure this is an excellent learning opportunity. I’m convinced that both parties went a bit too far, but we’ll sip some brew, share our thoughts, and be a better country for it. I want to stress that no one acted stupidly in this incident.”
White House officials supported the move, though one was a bit concerned with a possible effect of the schedule. “He invited Terry and Dice-K in for a beer right after Professor Gates and Sgt. Crowley will be leaving,” said Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “That’s a lot of beer in one night for a guy who holds the nuclear codes. If you had a woman in the White House, she wouldn’t be solving problems by chugging beers.”
Meanwhile Terry Francona remained steamed at Dice-K, but agreed to the offer. “Lucchino wanted the president to come to Fenway so the president could have a beer with the whole crowd, and the Red Sox could make a fortune in the process,” the manager explained. “Apparently the president said he prefers cold beer that isn’t watered down.”
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