Red Sox Nation is still reeling from the report that David Ortiz, the beloved Big Papi, tested positive for performance enhancing drugs in 2003. Ortiz had repeatedly denied such usage, in what was apparently a Big Lie.
But this morning, an incredulous Big Papi denied that he lied to anyone in his denials. "I was only kidding all those times I denied using PED's, man," Big Papi said with his trademark hearty laugh. "Of course I've been juiced, dude, just look at me. You see how much my body changed. You see how I went from an ordinary player to a superstar. My goodness, man, you guys got no sense of humor at all!"
A steamed Theo Epstein gave a stern retort to the media. "I think the media owes David a big apology for calling him a liar. If you didn't know he was joking when he denied being juiced, then I'll trade you J.D. Drew and his albatross of a contract for...anyone. Let's get real here."
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