Lucchino Finds Little Humor in Epstein New Year's Prank
He thought it was the ultimate New Year’s gift from heaven. Larry Lucchino walked out to his front steps to pick up the paper on New Year’s Day, and saw a headline on the Boston Globereporting that Mark Teixeira, C.C. Sabathia, and A.J.Burnett had all suffered career-ending injuries since signing long-term deals with the New York Yankees. It was a moment of true elation, of pure joy and sheer happiness…but it would be short-lived.
“I decided to play a little New Year’s joke on Larry,” Epstein snickered, still enjoying his mischievous prank. He explained that Globe columnist Dan Shaugnessy helped him put together the phony newspaper. “Of course, I never dreamed that Larry would be stupid enough to actually believe it—but Larry’s always full of surprises like that. And Dan was great to help--I knew he'd never pass up the opportunity to hurt another person.”
Lucchino, however, saw no humor at all in Epstein’s little game. “I was so excited at the prospect of those players being permanently maimed and unable to pursue their careers,” he said, wiping away a tear as he recounted his grief. “I was going to send Hank Steinbrenner a bouquet of roses and really rub his nose in it. I had champagne cooling…hell, I was going to run through the streets in my underwear. That little pipsqueak is going to pay for this.”
When Epstein was asked about possible retaliation from Lucchino, he shrugged his shoulders. “Larry already had my entire office covered with Vaseline,” he said. “It’s no big deal. I’ll just take a few days off while they clean it. It’s not like I’m missing out on any free agents this off-season…”
