Ben Kingsley Set to Star in “The Terry Francona Story”

        It is projected to be one of the biggest films of our time.  Paramount Pictures has bought the rights to produce “The Terry Francona Story,” which will be released in theaters across the world sometime next year.  Yesterday, it was announced that Academy Award winning actor Ben Kingsley will play the starring role.
          “It is an honor and a privilege to play Terry,” Kinglsey told Call of the Green Monster.  “I’ve been stuffing my cheek with tobacco and bubblegum around the clock, practicing repeatedly taking my hat on and off, spitting seeds like a machine gun, and I’ve got that rocking motion he does on the bench down to perfection.  I even met with Millsey the other day to get some background information on his friend.  And, Terry’s been great. He’s a big fan.”
           Indeed, Francona, who openly admits he has no interest in anything in life other than baseball, said that he recently rented a bunch of Kingsley’s films.  “The one I liked the best was “Sexy Beast,” ‘cause that kinda reminds me of myself a little bit,” he said, actually with a straight face.  “I’m a happily married guy, but when you manage two World Champion teams, you’re fighting off the babes constantly.”    Francona’s players were laughing hysterically in the background upon hearing this.  “Ghandi,” he continued, “I couldn’t sit through that ‘cause it’s so long, and I had no idea what it was about.  But overall I think Benny will do a great job.  It'll be tough for him to get down all the nuances and subtleties of my personality, but he’ll be okay.”
          “It’s the easiest role of my career,” Kingsley said flatly.  “If I can learn to chew humongous wads of tobacco, spit like a hyperactive squirrel, and repeatedly slap guys on the ass, I’ll be fine.”

bill@callofthegreenmonster.com

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