Red Sox officials confirmed today that newly signed outfielder J.D. Drew was injured while taking a physical for the Red Sox today. Drew evidently stubbed his toe while stepping up to the examination table, and is expected to miss most of Spring Training and perhaps much of the regular season.
“It was a freak accident,” said a Red Sox official. “There was some swelling on the small toe on his right foot. There was also a slight abrasion, though it did not infiltrate the surface of the skin. We expect a full recovery, and this will not in anyway impact the signing of the contract.”
Theo Epstein brushed aside speculation that this was yet another strong piece of evidence that Drew is forever destined to have an injury prone career. “We have reams of statistical data that can tell you that injuries during physicals are fairly common,” he explained. “Even if he misses most of this year, the $14 million we’ll be paying him will be money well spent as he gets acclimated to Boston and gets to know some of the most understanding and compassionate fans in all of baseball.”
Meanwhile, the Red Sox were contemplating signing Trot Nixon to fill in for Drew, but Nixon suffered an apparent back injury while driving to the physical. “Some Dirt Dog,” sniffed Epstein. “At least J.D. made it to the physical.”