As Bronson Arroyo neared signing a three-year contract with the Red Sox, his agents made it clear to the public that he was doing so against their advice. They disassociated themselves from the process, and made it clear that they felt Bronson was leaving himself vulnerable to a trade, rather than securing his place in the city he loves. Call of the Green Monster has learned that several other people close to Arroyo also were wary of the deal.
“I think he was an imbecile to sign the deal,” said a smug John Henry with a shrug. “I deal in investments, and Bronson didn’t make a wise investment for himself, but a very wise one for us.” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down and laughed maniacally.
“We feel it was a very prudent idea for Bronson to sign,” former co-GMs Ben Cherington and Jed Hoyer said together, stifling giggles as they spoke. Did they give Bronson assurances he would not be traded, as Arroyo asserted? “We told him we didn’t want to trade him and that we wouldn’t put him in a position where a trade might or might not happen where he would be in a position to agree or disagree to such a trade in the event that it might or might not happen. He got so confused by our wording that he just signed the contract, which was our goal.”
Call of the Green Monster has also learned that not only was Arroyo’s wife also against the deal, but that his parents, siblings, and even his grandmother advised him against it. “Grammy Arroyo was actually pretty persuasive,” he said. “She told me they’d trade me to some small market team looking for a bargain pitcher, and my career would go down the drain. Then she whacked me in the back of the head. She really loves me.” Emails also poured in from around the country, most of them with titles like, "Dumbass!" or "What were you thinking?"
Ultimately, Arroyo himself admits it was a dimwitted contract for him to sign. “Look my music career is tanking, and this city is the only place I can get gigs,” he explained. “Even if they ship me off to Tampa Bay, I can fly back here and do a gig in some dive in Lowell any time. It’s worth it to me, dude.”