Sox Front Office Unaware Damon was a Free Agent
As Red Sox Nation reeled from the news that Johnny Damon was leaving town to join the evil and decadent New York Yankees, perhaps even more shocking was the revelation that the Red Sox front office was apparently unaware that Damon was a free agent.
“Look,” said an angry and confused Larry Lucchino. “We’ve had a lot going on. We were aware that we had to get him signed, but, yes, it apparently slipped through the cracks that other teams could sign him. Certainly if we had been aware of that we would have made signing Johnny a higher priority than signing Rudy Seanez.”
The Sox new general manager team appeared stunned and embarrassed by the news. “We’re still learning this position,” said Hoyer and Cherington, reading a statement together in a show of unison. “We just weren’t quite up to speed on the fact that he could actually sign with the Yankees if he wanted to. We just thought Steinbrenner was trying to scare us.”
Owner John Henry, again questioning his own ability to be owner of the Red Sox, said to blame him for this monumental blunder. “You can't blame Herrington and Choyer for this,” he said, “and certainly not Larry. Am I fit to be owner? Am I fit to be a Red Sox fan? A fair question. But we’re not going to let this stand. I met all night be the GMs and Larry, and we plan to offer Derek Jeter a boatload of money to come to Boston. This free agent stuff can work both ways, you know. We’ll show those Yankees.”
