“Gang of Four” (G4) Argue Over Who Deserves Credit for Beckett Trade
Although the deal has not yet been consummated, the Red Sox “Gang of Four” (known for merchandizing purposes as G4--the Sox acting team of general managers), are all fighting over who deserves the real credit for turning the blockbuster deal.
“GM of the year, baby!” said a jubilant Jed Hoyer, assistant to the GM. “Cover of Sports Illustrated, talk of the town, and taking over Theo’s office, dude. This was my masterpiece.” No less restrained was director of player development Ben Cherington, who announced to the media, “Ladies and gentlemen, I have just brokered the biggest trade in Red Sox history. Me. Me alone. Ben Cherington. Spelled C-H-E-R-I-N-G-T-O-N.” Special assistant Craig Shipley had still another spin on the deal. “While those other clowns (members of G4) were over at the Cask and Flagon getting hammered, I resolutely refused to give up on this deal. Through determination, stamina, and sheer will, I made it happen. Courage, thy name is Craig Shipley.” And finally, director of baseball operations Peter Woodfork would not be outdone. “I’m the man! I’m the man! Bringing the J-Beck to Beantown is the P-Wood himself, dude. Chicks will be digging me! Moveover, Theo. Boston is about to see who the real brains behind this operation is.”
Meanwhile Dan Shaughnessy was fast at work writing a piece on Larry Lucchino’s behalf that would paint the Sox president and CEO as the architect of the deal. “Renaissance man, visionary, genius,” Shaughnessy wrote, “call him what you will. But my sources indicate that this was all Larry Lucchino’s work. The G4 were hanging out at Burger King somewhere looking at minor league scouting reports while this all went down.”
John Henry smirked when he heard the claims of G4 and Shaughnessy/Lucchino. “If you’re wondering who pulled this deal,” he said with a wink, “think of the man with two first names. Owner of the team. Man who hired all these so-called geniuses.” He smiled and nodded his head.
