The New York Yankees have emphatically denied a request by the Boston Red Sox front office to reenact their most embarrassing moments from the ALCS in front of the Fenway crowd on Opening Day. “We thought they would be reasonable about this,” said Sox president and CEO Larry Lucchino. “We had sent the Yankees front office a list of some of our favorite moments from the ALCS, and thought they’d cooperate by having their players reenact them to entertain our fans, but they wanted no part of it.”
Apparently the plan called for the reenactment just before the Red Sox received their World Series rings. The Yankees and Red Sox players would have taken the field, and re-created some of the moments that will forever live in the hearts of the Fenway Faithful, and will forever cause suicidal thoughts and endless despair in the minds of Yankees fans.
“For instance,” said Lucchino, “we wanted Tom Gordon to come out and throw a few gopher balls to Ortiz and Bellhorn. We wanted Rivera to re-create the steps that led to him blowing two saves. We planned to create a few situations with runners in scoring position and have Gary Sheffield and ARod come up and strike out just as they did so often in the series. And the grand finale of the show would be ARod re-creating his little slappy-slap in Game 6. He could then explain to the crowd how he still thinks it was a ‘brilliant play.’ We thought that would bring the house down.”
“I don’t know what Larry’s thinking,” said a defiant Yanks GM Brian Cashman. “We are not going to agree to send our players out to humiliate themselves just for the amusement of the Boston fans. We found the request to be in such poor taste.”
Upon hearing about Cashman’s sentiments, Lucchino shrugged. “That’s too bad Cash feels that way,” he said, “because actually my favorite moment of the series was just after Game 7 ended, and the camera flashed on him, and he had that sick expression on his face as he watched us celebrate. I was hoping he’d be a sport and do that for us again, but I guess that’s off the table.”
