ESPN baseball expert and devout Red Sox scholar Peter Gammons shocked the baseball world today when he admitted that he has been fabricating trade rumors for years.
"I can't hold it inside anymore," a tearful Gammons said during a press conference. "I love baseball, and in all the excitement I feel for the game, I've just gotten carried away. It started small, when I'd report a phony rumor just to have something to say. But lately it has escalated into a problem that I can’t control. Now, I find myself making up rumors that don't even make any sense. Yesterday I said the Red Sox were trying to unload David Ortiz for minor league prospects. Clearly, when you are fabricating rumors that make no sense and are getting little enjoyment out of it, you need help. I am so ashamed."
“We had heard whispers in the past,” said an ESPN source. “But recently, things have gotten ugly. When he went on primetime and reported that the Yankees were shopping Derek Jeter to the Twins for a backup catcher, we had no other choice but to take action. Peter is a beloved member of ESPN and the entire baseball community, but sometimes there’s a fine line between fanatical love for the game—and madness. We hope Peter finds help.”
ESPN has said that Gammons may keep his job, but he will be prohibited from reporting on any trade rumors for a two-year period. When Gammons concluded the press conference by announcing that the A’s were trading Tim Hudson to the Royals for a utility infielder, he was helped away by two security men.